This could well be an unpopular opinion, but it’s one I feel more and more strongly about. Many of the problems we are witnessing in schools, (reflected from society as a whole), do not have quick fixes. We need to invest in the long game. So often we are judged on the results we can provide on paper right now, but, as a parent and teacher, I really (really!) care about future results too. So much pressure is put on measurable progress and this idea of having “one shot” at success. It can become easier to run away then find out you were just not good enough. Of course we want our students to achieve their best and to feel proud that their efforts have paid off, but I don’t believe it is a dichotomy. Education (life!) is not a “one shot” opportunity.There are so many, even unconventional, paths to take us where we wish to go. Even to find out where we want to go.
We can try, reflect and try again, but only if we keep the doors open. If we succumb to the idea that this is our only opportunity, that the door has a time limit before it shuts, fear kicks in. The limbic brain directing our behaviour will never lead to thoughtful and reflective decisions. And, yet, when we focus on the results in the here and now, it so easily leads to this line of thinking. School is so much more than just an exam factory. I want my students (and children) to know they have every opportunity to achieve in their teenage years; I will support them in the best way I know – using my experiences and knowledge to work with them responsively. However, sometimes this is not enough; they may not be in their best position to learn (whether through adolescent brain development or a whole host of other circumstances). I cannot control their behaviour or choices. But as Stephen Covey reminds us, we need to focus on what we can control: I can keep the door as wide open as possible for them, in the hope that one day they try again. That day might be tomorrow, or it might be next year, or it might be decades in the future.
If I only focus on the short-term results, this can be desolate. I may not see the desired increase in results that “should” be there. All of my efforts may seem futile. There are so, so many variables outside of my power of influence, and the more that I learn about human behaviour/brain development, the more I realise the difficulties. But, this isn’t the time to give up. In an ideal world, all of our students and children would communicate these difficulties with us effectively and we could problem-solve a beautiful route onwards together. This is never going to happen. Ever. (And can be heartbreaking as a parent with your own teen). So, what can we do instead? We keep learning. We keep trying. We listen with the intention of understanding. We do our best not to get offended by adolescent words, behaviour and frustration. Yet, we also hold necessary boundaries, (ones which I would argue often need to be flexible), and model these boundaries with our own behaviour. Ones which value human connection, respect and safety. And we continue to keep trying to scaffold success and build bridges to effective independence. We guide and invite them through the doors that education can offer. And, if some refuse to go? We ensure that they know these doors are always open – they may become harder to reach, the path more overgrown and the guides less frequent, the further that we leave from school. But, they are always, always there. (I am so proud of my husband’s return to higher education, decades after feeling shunned by school!)
I truly believe this is a philosophy that has value in many areas of life. In recent discussions of promoting reading for pleasure, this guides me. In a society dominated by quick wins and dopamine rushes, we are struggling to raise the profile of reading. This is certainly not through lack of trying! (And is a whole blog post on it’s own!) We could give up, and say: well, we tried. We could. Or, we can try and keep faith in the long game. When we take off the pressure of needing results now, we may be pleasantly surprised by the end result. (I’ve blogged before about the seesaw effect, but am seeing this in longer terms now too). Changing behaviour, (and not through coercion, which is the polar opposite of reading for pleasure), takes time and patience. We need to invite, warmly, and not react adversely if our invitation is declined. We need the opposite of fight and flight. We need warmth and openness to plant a seed that they may return to – even as an adult. Who knows when the right book at the right time with an open mind may save a life? I have some ideas on how we could maybe continue to pursue this, and may later blog but, it’s safe to say, they revolve around connection.
I know that this doesn’t give us the short-term results on which, as professionals and schools, we are so often judged. I know that this will mean we may never know, for some students, if our efforts have been successful, or if the seeds we planted ever bloomed. But, we will know we gave every chance, and one day there may be future cathedrals that will lead the way for the next generation too. This is not a dichotomy and I am absolutely not suggesting we forego ambition or aspiration or boundaries for our students. I actually believe this could achieve the opposite. (As an anxiety-sufferer, I’m a huge believer in high challenge and low threat!) I am advocating for balance and the declaration that education (like the world of video gaming) is not a “one shot” opportunity. In moments when we feel our efforts are futile, we can know we are the guardians of the doors.